Narcissism

There is no uniform manifestation of the narcissist, which makes them so difficult to recognize. When you meet a narcissist, they are usually inconspicuous, friendly, and courteous. You may have an indistinct feeling of something intangible, a kind of undefined distance, somehow unapproachable and elusive. But otherwise, you cannot pin your feeling on anything unusual; they are a person like any other.
It is almost never apparent that they are a narcissist.

In my practice, I have encountered various narcissistic types and found a classification based on them.
In my experience, the types I have differentiated blend together; I have not yet encountered any of the types in their pure form.

However, there are several basic characteristics that can be found in all narcissistic manifestations and by which the narcissist can be recognized.
Some characteristics are more prominent, while others are more hidden.
Upon closer examination, however, you discover them all, as they are interwoven.

The narcissist is searching for themselves, because they cannot feel.
Accordingly, the narcissist's endeavor will always be to find their missing self-worth and, associated with that, their non-existent dignity.

The problem with this is: Because they cannot recognize their own boundaries due to the lack of self-worth, they have no sense of where to look for it.
They cannot feel who they are, where they begin and where they end, and cannot distinguish whether they are within themselves or in the outside world.
They lack the feeling of being, the feeling of aliveness, the feeling of the pulsation of the stream of life in their veins. In the search for this, they are drawn precisely to what they are looking for!
It is like an inescapable pull for them, which they perceive unconsciously when they meet a person who is obviously equipped with what they themselves lack.
A person who is full of feeling and radiates joy of life.
If they feel this pulsation of life in their counterpart, this rhythm of aliveness that they themselves lack, they try to hold onto this stream of life and connect with it.

Because they cannot distinguish what belongs to them or to their counterpart, yet unconsciously feel through activated resonances that they need exactly this, they will do everything in their power to obtain their own stream of life through this person.
In doing so, they see this person as their possession, because their definition of life is purely material, as we have learned. They thus also deny this person consciousness, and feel called to make the decisions for them as well.

The narcissist guards their possession well and protects it from loss, therefore this person, who gives them joy of life and self-worth, is also assigned a certain place where they can control and supervise them.
However, a narcissist's possession also always has a certain hierarchy.
The more they are aware of how important the respective possession is to them, the more they will control it, fight it, put it under pressure, and make sure that it is not lost.

In the case of the respective counterpart, usually the emotionally dependent person, they have insane fears of loss, because they feel that something is immediately missing to them when this stream of life is no longer there.
They are plagued by great feelings of inferiority, because they still do not know their boundaries and do not know who they themselves are.
They notice that when their counterpart is missing, their own aliveness has also disappeared.
It is like a fear of dying after they have become aware that one can live... but in their eyes only through this person who can give them this feeling of aliveness, because they embody exactly what they themselves lack. That is why this person becomes their possession, they take them in for themselves, they belong to them! ....